A few short months ago (when this photo was taken, June 2015), I didn’t know that I’d soon be dealing with strange health issues. As cliche as it may sound, now that I’ve been diagnosed with systemic sclerosis and possible Lyme disease, I feel like a new person with a different outlook on life. Part of this new me wants to let go of my fixation with creating things for people to wear, look at, and love. I want to focus more on connecting with people on a level that allows me to share some of the things I’ve learned in my life, that have impacted me to the core, and which could bring light into their lives more than any material thing ever could.
I still don’t know much about where I am health wise, just that I’m experiencing new pain and fatigue that wasn’t an issue before. My intention is to treat this like a spiritual journey, rather than a huge ordeal in my life, as well as to allow myself much needed rest/remove any potential stressors I notice in my life; Part of this means unemployment for now, a tough but necessary step.
Just before I started feeling sick and was diagnosed, I had been considering going back to school so that I could become a therapist, helping people use creativity (through textile art) to heal. I’ve realized I’m not physically ready right now for a Master’s program and am putting the idea on a back burner.
In the meantime I’ve rediscovered that creating raw vegan meals is something I adore, not just because I like the way fresh and live food tastes and makes me feel, but because I love sharing it with other people. I’m starting to really understand and appreciate food creation as an art. What’s most exciting is that I’m using raw foods to heal and am just starting to envision myself getting better and going to Living Light Culinary Institute! This is not something I ever imagined, but I can see it fitting well with my idea of being a therapist. Here is an opportunity to learn not only how to better prepare and "plate" plant based dishes, but also about the nutrition side of things, and training to help others prepare and benefit from this healthful food.
What I need to remind myself more than anything else, is get better first, just get better first. It isn’t easy to focus on just this one thing, when I want to do so much more!
I feel most real when I talk about health and food, as if it’s a vehicle to getting at my core, who I really am. I love visual arts and millinery and they’ve been important elements in my life. My interests in health and the arts have always battled each other, as if there's a need for one to be more dominant than the other. Thanks to my illness and therefore a need to avoid inflammation causing foods, I’ve been eating a plant based high raw diet again, and unexpectedly opening up to the idea of an entirely different kind of art-form filling a big space in my life.